When people hike together to reach mountain’s top,
the weakest hiker sets the pace.
The best one complains, shames and presses the slow.
But all efforts do not make one move faster.
When tired stroller rests,
the active one waits impatiently.
When the hungry one eats,
the disciplined moans and rolls eyes.
The ambitious climber hurries, fearing uncertain future.
He hopes to reach the top and worries failure absent glory, before death.
The weakling steps slowly, for he carries the past.
Too much luggage keeps him down with a painful back.
The guide of our hikers stays calm in wisdom.
For he already knows all of them will thrive,
since the mountain will remain over time
and the only road goes up.
Only the guide holds direction to a certain destination.
He has been there before, hence has all the time of the world.
He will never feel the need to leave one behind
or turn back from purpose.
Thus the slowest strider decides pace,
reigning the strong till common end.
Only genuine patience, praise, and kindness will persuade progress.
Spared of judgment, trickery or offense.
Until realized no bag packed with past needs holding on,
our sluggish crawler lingers at the mountainside.
Holding tight his heavy burden,
eyes away from peak nearby.
The more time passed, the more memory faded.
The more understanding and compassion received, the more steps completed.
Our bunch reached the top together,
each done their precious part.
The slow hiker reached liberated, free of burden.
The fast one achieved reassured, escaped imagined doom.
Our guide completed, confirmed absent doubt.
They climbed singly but arrived as one.
Are you patient with your inner slowness?
There are many ways to interpret the words above and that’s the purpose. In case you deduced your own personal meaning, then don’t read more. If you are looking for more value, feel free to continue.
Introducing our group of hikers
I’m sure you are aware of several of your different features, roles, layers. A person is far from being one complete piece of humanness. We consist of various sides, we hear different voices in our mind, and we have often contrasting characteristics.
A person is like a group of hikers trying to reach the top of the mountain. I’m confident you already experienced the difficulties of working together with others for a mutual purpose. It’s not easy at all. But quite similar dynamics are occurring within yourself as well.
We have an inner voice that is very focused and ambitious to reach its goals. I guess you are familiar with this kind of inner speech: “I should be like this, I should look like that, I should have this and lose that…”. It is that very ambitious voice which preaches inside our heads throughout the day.
This voice is the part of us not happy with the current situation. It lives in the future and fears its uncertainty. We need to change or we will suffer the consequences. We need to become better and reach our ideal state because if we are not good enough, we’ll perish.
Another part of us is shaped and held by the past. It is stuck and if it moves, progress is slow. Past experiences, memories, assimilated beliefs, trauma,… is stopping us from moving on. This is very frustrating for our ambitious hiker.
The weakest link
Imagine your dream is to be a lawyer, but in the past, you developed a fear of speaking in public. Imagine you have the desire to feel very healthy and fit, but again and again, you get seduced by your cravings and buy yourself that package of cigarettes. Imagine you want to be a good and loyal partner, but again you meet that sexy co-worker in the copy room, while you love your spouse more than anything. Imagine you want to write a book, make a painting, invent noise-canceling underpants, but beliefs of being unworthy, stupid or incapable hold you back?
We have a slow hiker in all of us, not striding but crawling to its purpose. That would be not that bad if it would not be for our ambitious walker. He can’t stand the slow progress in the group, because time is ticking away in his perspective. As a result, resentment and frustration emerges. Most of the energy gets spilled in quarreling, instead of climbing mountains.
Our work of self-criticism
Our ambitious inner voice starts attacking his slower companion. Our inner voice becomes very judgmental uttering self-criticism, blame, frustration, aggression, and defeat. Imagine you are in a group of hikers and you start blaming and criticizing the poor person who can’t keep the pace… Do you think he or she will move faster or would slow down even more due to shame, guilt and feeling worthless?
When we blame, criticize and put a lot of pressure on ourselves, it will not enhance the progress to achieve our goals, but slow us down even more. Hating yourself for making the same mistakes again will probably cause you to make them even more. Torturing your mind after you empty the cookie jar, will probably lead you to clean out one jar after another after that.
How to deal with our heavy backpack
When we walk together to the top of a mountain, there is only one way to deal with a slow hiker: a combination of acceptance, patience, and encouragement. You tell your fellow slow hiker it’s absolutely OK that he is walking slowly. You make him feel that you are patient and calm. You encourage him with motivational words, kindness and convince him he really can do it and that you believe in him.
The only reason why our slow walker is slow anyways is because he is carrying much more weight than you do. He is holding on to a huge bag hanging on his shoulders. The more you judge him, blame him, criticize him… the more extra weight you put inside his bag.
Try to understand your past and the weight you are carrying. First, we need to see and accept our luggage, before we can remove it. You can’t get rid of something before you genuinely embraced it to be yours. A walker can’t get rid of his luggage if he doesn’t know he is carrying one.
Secondly, feel how heavy this luggage is so you can muster the necessary patience to deal with it. You can’t get rid of something if you don’t have the patience to go through the process of removing it. How can you get rid of your luggage if you don’t have the patience to open the bag and get out every piece?
Thirdly, try to appreciate your burden. Don’t feel only its weight but understand also the reason why it’s there. Realize that what you want to be relieved of is actually there because it wants to help you. Its intentions are good and only its results are bad. The bag you carry contains many things with the intention to help you cope with the difficulties on the road to the top. Of course, they are not helpful at all, but it’s the intention that matters. Your burden behaves like an unwanted child, but every child deserves love.
Success is a team’s effort
The only way a team can reach the top of the mountain is together, otherwise, it can’t be called a team’s accomplishment. Therefore, the slowest member sets the pace. If the others don’t accept his pace, don’t have the patience to keep this pace or appreciate it,… a quarrel shall arise within the team and the overall progress will be halted entirely.
If you don’t accept your flaws and mistakes, don’t have patience with the long period of time needed to overcome your obstacles and appreciate and love your own shadow and weaknesses… you can’t move on and reach your goals.
Our inner voice can be very impatient, overly ambitious, strict, harsh, judgmental and rude… but there is no reason to worry. There is no reason for haste and thoughts of imminent doom. As every group of hikers has a guide to lead them to the peak, every person has a higher self. There is a part of us free of the past’s gravitational pull and free of the demanding and urging future. Our higher self is not bound by time, judgment or ambition. Our higher self leads us through our trajectory and to freedom, no matter how and when. It is both a silent observer and a radiant all-knowing guide.
Aligning with our inner mountaineer
We are all bound by our past and we carry it with us whether we want it or not. We can free ourselves of our burden along the way through a process of acceptance, patience, and love. Self-criticism and blame will not make the path to freedom easier or faster. Whenever you feel tired and demotivated on the path, feeling weary of your burden…look on the inside and feel your higher self.
Feel how it allows everything to be as it is. Feel there is a part of you that is already free and turn to it whenever you feel the need. Feel the freedom you expect to find on the peak of the mountain you have already and this path is just a question to share this experience with your body and mind. Your mind may be hasty, but it’s your body who sets the pace. You are only as fast as the legs that move you.
